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Confessions ...


 Questions...
 

Who am I ?

I stare at my face

until it becomes

a  hazy reflection of me.

My fear and anger and confusion

muddled with this amazing joy inside.

What is this lie?

that shines back at me?

that shouts it's accusations

only for me to refute and excuse

until i am no longer sure where my truth begins.

and I end.

When is there peace?

When angry words pierce

and bruise... cut ..kill.. destroy

barely recognizing it being more than a thrill

an observation in social destruction.

If love is the answer... then what is the question?

Posted by Shibari at 3:02 AM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 7 things you may not know?
 

7 things..

Heart Of Darkness tagged Michael C with this list of seven things and he tagged those who read his blog... So I am posting 7 things... This will be part of my birthday factoids I promised...


Seven things you plan to do before you die:
one) Take a trip to Greece/Italy
two) Visit historic spots in the United States.
three) Learn to cook a gourmet meal
four) Hear the words " I was wrong and I am sorry I put you through Hell" from my ex!five) Attend a Dallas Cowboys Football game
six) Move to a place with 4 seasons not just two.
seven) Retire…I hope.

Seven things you can do:
one) Sing
two) speak whale
three) say all the lines from So I married an Axe murderer
four) Love unconditionally
five) eat my weight in watermelon
six) be humorous inappropriately so
seven) touch my head to my toes

Seven things you can't do:
one) skydive (terrified of heights)
two) handle a snake
three) live life without people in it.
four) smoke
five) be caged I am claustrophobic…
six) Be too serious
seven) hate

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
one) Sense of humor
two) Smile
three) Sense of humor
four) Eyes
five) confidence
six) Kindness and thoughtfulness…are those the same thing?
seven) oh and Sense of humor!

Seven things you say most:
one) Oh my gosh
two) You are kidding me
three) Snap!
four) I didn't do it.
five) Donny Sucks!
six) Must... have... Dr. Pepper!
seven) Starbucks anyone?

Seven celebrity crushes:
one) Ryan Reynolds
two) Gabriel Macht
three) Orlando Bloom
four) Brendan (THE encino man) Frasier
five) Johnny Depp but only dressed as a pirate.
six) Mark Wills (country singer)
seven) John Taylor from duran duran

Seven songs that I can't get out of my head:
one) Steady as she goes
two) Let's Go TheCars
three) Kiss Me
four) 1980 something
five) tequila makes her clothes fall off
six) Train in Vain by the Clash
seven) Brass in Pocket The Pretenders

Seven things you do in the middle of the night, although you shouldn't:
one) Toss and turn
two) Stare at the alarm clock
three) Tap my finger to my heart valve’s ticks
four) Cuss at my alarm clock
five) Develop my next day’s post in my head
six) Sing to myself
seven) Set my alarm clock back an extra hour

Seven things I'd bring to a deserted island:
one) Music and solar charged batteries for my mp3 player
two) Orlando Bloom
three) A tent
four) The cast of lost except for the stupid and or scary ones
five)sun screen
six) Lifetime supply of food and drink
seven) The movie Castaway for survival tips... maybe a soccer ball named Wilson.

Seven shows on TV you follow:
one) LOST
two) Heros
three) Psych
four) the 4400
five) Supernatural
six) How I met your mother
seven) Deadliest Catch

Seven reason why the world is better off you don't carry a gun:
one) Bad Aim
two) I get cranky when I’m thirsty
three) I get cranky when I’m hot
four) I get cranky when I’m hungry
five) Iget cranky in line.. at the bank.. at the store... that wouldn't be good.
six) I hate stupidity
seven) I’d eventually drop it in a crowd at the most inopportune time

I kept michaels answers cuz this is totally what my response would be with the exception of five and six.


Seven things I can't do without:
one) Music
two) Meat
three) Laughter
four) air conditioning
five) tank tops
six) Internet/Email
seven)love

Seven things that make life worth living (a little longer):
one) Good friends/family
two) The sun setting behind the mountains
three) The beach
four) That moment right before you fall asleep
five) Beautiful weather
six) STEAK
seven) Waking up every morning!

Seven things I used to do when I was young/er but no longer do:
one) Sleep well
two) not worry
three) hang upside down from a tree
four) lived on a farm…
five) play hide and seek
six) Ride a bike
seven) Looked forward to growing up

Seven things that make it hard for people to like me:
one) I use my humor as a defense mechanism
two) My ex husband
three) I can be very sarcastic
four) my mike myers obssession
five) I’m eternally optimistic
six) I occasionally like to be the center of attention
seven) I like to get my way

Seven stages you've gone through in your life:
one) Wide-eyed kid
two) Self-critical teenager
three) college student
four) wife
five) step mom
six) divorcee
seven) owned by kjr...

Posted by Shibari at 10:51 PM - 5 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 june 21
 

Lover:

I forget sometimes the man you are. How you always catch me by surprise. Make me lose my breath, my heart, my words... my mind.

You capture my attention with these quiet moments. That are genuine... real... and ours.

You even understand my incessant need to question... to worry.  I love you!!

 

 

Posted by Shibari at 4:48 AM - 13 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Thinking
 

I am thinking...

 that he has forgotten...

time is ticking

 impatiently

on a watch

that doesn'twork.

doesn't exist.

that doesn't matter

trapped in the boundaries of time.

My life is something

beautiful and complex

and he has forgotten.

I rage against time

and it's damage

it's inconsistency

it's never ending

tick.. tick.. tick..

I celebrate alone

and he has forgotten..

forgotten time..

forgotten me.

 

Posted by Shibari at 2:52 AM - 40 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 monday confession...
 

Breathless...

In the heat

In the dark

obssession and submission

domination and control

I am waiting to breathe

waiting...

holding the air in my lungs

tingling

burning as my chest expands

I let go with a cry

and ...Breathe.

Posted by Shibari at 12:20 AM - 10 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: Shibari
From Somewhere Hot, USA
 
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