Yesterday, I was kind of surprised when a guy from work took the time to unapologetically stare at my ass. I was taken aback in a way; I am used to men being aloof and well or discreet if you want to know the truth.  Ego stroking is good.

There is some satisfaction, when someone stares at you appreciatively; or compliments you in some way. My ex husband when he left said “you are not that pretty and not that special.” This was a final insult to injury comment that was meant to dig or destroy. I can’t tell you the moment when I stopped feeling attractive, or when I gave up trying to be alluring to my spouse. I think that when he stopped seeing me … when I became invisible to him… I felt I was invisible to the world. I didn’t notice if someone noticed me I didn’t look up, didn’t look around.

When he left, was the first time that I decided, “I am taking back my power; I am going to enjoy being a girl again. I am going to do things different with this new go around."

But what ARE the rules of attraction?

Of course you can SEE someone who is attractive... and they can stop you for a moment. Visual attractions can be fun... someone's body.. someone's face... that hotness that makes you turn your head... Fun...yes.. but are they lasting?

There is the humor aspect... Someone who is funny and you just HAVE to be around that person... because they make you laugh. But humor can become droll when there isn't something serious to back it up..

Intelligence.. When you can talk about issues... and education... things that matter ... or technology... politics.. social matters.. The relevence of books. But sometimes when intelligence can be too much and you don't just have fun!

Sexual attraction--Just because they rock your world in bed. Romps are fun but what happens when the sex is over? Can you still talk or cuddle or is it just sex?

There is confidence.. which is always good .It is kind of nice to have a man in charge. Someone who knows what they want... and goes for it. Someone you don't have to coddle or constantly stroke their ego because THEY need it . It is more fun to stroke someones ego cuz you can. Confidence can also be a downfall because over-confidence shoots you in the ass.

Honesty--There is nothing wrong with this. In fact I like honest people. Unless they are honest to be hurtful.

Someone's heart... who they are on the inside.... Their soul... The way they touch you by who they are... THERE is the really special gift.

So what happens when you are attracted.. do you make that attraction known... Blatantly? or are you more discreet?

I am more discreet....

I think...