Hello and Happy Friday!
As my friend Gav says it is Poet's day . (piss on everything tomorrow is Saturday!)
Apologies for the emotional verbage yesterday. One stressful week was being internalized, and needed freedom from my body.
I have found myself keeping people at arms length, including Lover. Trying to convince him that I am not worth the effort and/or time. I am trapped in self~doubt. I keep re~playing history in my mind. It feeds my present and my present life is a hungry monster.
Starving in fact.
Lover is concerned ... This man truly loves me I believe.. He continues to put up with my insurmmountable bullshit. He understands my heart. He tells me that
because i want to be part of your life. to know every dream, every heart beat, every heart break. I hope i am never the one to hurt you, but always the one to pick you up. when i love someone. it is wholly. and i have questioned myself daily on several things. on you. whether or not the distance would be too much for you... or if the difficulty of our situation would be too much. if i was being fair to you. and i am going to fight like hell for you, to be with you.
Sorry lover for sharing this but I wanted to remember it later when I am in freak out mode... I can come back and see the words physically..
Thank you for calming my soul... my heart.
Your Love is what gets me through this darkness in my soul.
I love you!
your pet
ps and thank you for the song baby!